At your service

Stellai’s blog August 2017: 

                   

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At your service

Dear Stellai,

Let me first tell you that  I am a huge fan of you. I so much recognise myself in you.  My name is Adina* , adopted daughter of Natiope** who is queen of the Mazanons***, but in this world dolls call me WW****.

It is possible you have heard of me because of my work, which is saving the world. It is really nice work and very much satisfying, though it stings that male super heroes still get paid far better. But that’s not the problem for which I like to get your advice. The problem I have, it started with internet.

For some reason saving the world draws a lot of attention from the press. But whereas in the old days I would read about my accomplishments not until next day in the papers, nowadays my every move can be seen live on the internet. Like last week when I managed to save a box full of illegal Chinese TPE dolls by pulling a train out the second floor of a skyscraper. Or the week before that when I rescued a bunch of female eskimos in lingerie who were about to freeze on a floe. I still do not know what really happened to their fur coats.

Obviously, the dolls that I usually save from a tragic, fearsome, or horrible death are grateful to me for rescuing them. Sure, I get that. But … why is it that every time I come home after work I first have to struggle through a haystack of male embee dolls piled up to my front door, fighting each other to pay their respects to me, grabbing me in order to get my attention, my autograph, my phone number, and my underwear… and all of them hoping to get a date with me?

And no matter what I do or say, they keep coming back. At first I politely asked them to leave. It did not work. Then I picked them up and put them gently aside the path to my front door. That did not work either. About a month ago I started tossing them over the fence. For a short time it had some effect. But two weeks ago some jerk began boasting on the internet about him being tossed by me. He proudly mentioned that I had thrown him already seven times over my fence, that all together he now had three broken ribs, a skull fracture, both arms dislocated and 34 bumps, bruises and grazes and that this was his ultimate thrill. But that was not the worst. The worst was that he dared everyone to break his record.... The next day the haystack was doubled!

Dear Stellai, how do I get these male embee fools of my back?

Counting on your discretion.

Yours truly,

WW

P.S.

Already for ages we super hero females are severely outnumbered. So if you would ever consider a career in the super-hero business, just give me a call. I will be very happy to help you. Though I have to warn you that the payment sucks.

Hi WW,

Wow, you are the first super hero to write me. And just so you know, I am a huge fan of you too! Went to see your movie last week, it was awesome!

Thank you for your handwritten letter. I thought the Walmart saving stamp you had put on it was very original. It was the first letter with a stamp I ever received with wood splinters sticking through it. I hope your table did hold when you slapped on the stamp. Your letter came with a fine from the post office,  but do not worry about that. My boss is very much understanding. Although when it comes to payments he tends to twist the subject. But I am sure that when I threaten him to kick his ankles he can be persuaded to pay that fine for you.

I totally agree with you that for privacy the internet is a menace and that male embee dolls are even worse (few exceptions taken). Obviously these haystackers piled up to your front door are trespassing. Technically the fence is where your property starts. But throwing that male pile over the fence is not going to solve your problem. Personally I am surprized that the tossing even led to an increase of your male embee fans. The risk of obtaining injuries is usually a reason for embees to keep some distance.  It seems that their desire to get physical with you is blocking their self-preservation mechanism. It is something known to occur to male praying mantis dolls. The drive of the males is caused by a desire to reproduce themselves. But since it is commonly known that you have been sculpted out of clay, it seems to me a bit unlikely that reproduction is also the drive of your fan club. Though it must be said that some male embees are willing to stick their dicks in anything that fits, even holes in walls. And since your appearance is somewhat similar to some of their most wanted females, this might create a kind of confusion for them, poor sods.

As for keeping them of your back, you might try showing ‘the frown’. Works great for me!  And if that does not work I do ‘the tapping foot’. Nowadays that is enough for even the toughest male embee to stop harassing me. This because he knows that  the next step is that I will claw myself inside his pants, grab his cock, twist it twice, drag it through his underwear and then stick it in his ass. After that I will boil some water to make him a cup of tea to get him relaxed and back on his feet again. This because the stuffing always results in total panic and crazy jumping. I have to admit that most of the guys leave long before the tea is ready, leaving me with a kettle full of good tea, which is a waste, because I do not drink tea. But I keep making the tea, because it is the humane thing to do. I do not want to become known as a doll that does not look after other dolls in need.

I admit that getting inside the pants of your embee haystackers may be a bit difficult for you because you are a giant yourself. Even for me it is rather tight, but I think when you rip the pants of his butt, then grab one leg and lift it up high (when you pull the pants below the knees you only need to grab one leg and lift it. The other leg will follow automatically   ). Then with your other hand you can do ‘the stuffing trick’.

As for your offer to become a super hero, please know that I already have two jobs and I cannot just step out of that. Things tend to get really messy at work when I am not around, you know. So, I really need to think about it, but I cannot deny that I am tempted….. Super Stellai… hmm.

Don’t forget that twist! 

Good luck,

Stellai

*Real name is known to the editors of this e-zine.

**Real name is known to the editors of this e-zine.

***Real name is known to the editors of this e-zine.

****Real name is known to the editors of this e-zine.

P.S.

If you have missed my previous report, then you can use this link to see it:

/drupal/node/2518

(Stellai’s blog June 2017:Clouded Stars)