Stellai’s blog October 2017:
International Doll Meeting 2017
-The Office Manager’s Report-
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Make way! Miss 'S', official office manager of IDM-2017, the most important international doll meeting of the year has entered the building!
Just finished unpacking my stuff and installed my laptop. Got my old office-behind-the-stairs back. Almost accepted the new office that they had ‘specially saved’ for me. Turned out that they wanted to put me upon that huge tree trunk in the backyard. I still do not know if they were sincere, or intended to pull my leg….
Other than I wanted, I have arrived here one day late. Like last year I travelled with mr. 'K' and his wife doll misses 'L'. And like last year they insisted again on spending a quality time day off for us, which was yesterday. It is unbelievable that of the 365 days they picked yesterday, the first day of the IDM, for which I have been lobbying months and months to become office manager again.
Unfortunately the quality time included misses 'L’s vote, or is it veto, so I could just as well have been shouting my objections to a wall of gummy bears! SIGHHHH!
But now I am here and I can finally start digging my way through the pile of proposals, problems and poppycock in front of me.
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I cannot believe my own eyes: along the wall opposite to my desk Teddy Babes are lining up for the Ladies. To my knowledge a Teddybabe never needs to go to the loo. Toilets are a typical embee invention which they use to drain themselves after their food-and-beverage stuffing activities. So, what on earth are those Teddybabes doing there? The only possible explanation is that they must have absorbed enormous amounts of fluid which they want to squeeze out of their bodies. Apparently there must be a major leakage somewhere in the building. I will investigate it immediately.
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Found it! It turned out that a giant E-cup size bra was blocking the drain of the dishwasher in the kitchen. How the hell it got there I do not know and it will be quite a challenge to find the owner. Half of the giant size ladies here have boobs big enough to fit that bra and the other half will pretend to have boobs big enough to fit it.
In the mean time I have received an official complaint about incident of the manager of the establishment. She subtly reminded me that kitchens in hotels, restaurants and the like are commonly known to be places to be restricted for guests. To which I subtly replied that if it hadn’t been for our Teddybabes, her kitchen now would have been a swimming pool.
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Miss 'B' just rolled her wheelchair into my office, informing me that their car has been stolen. Even though it is a giant size car, it is not very big. In fact it is a more like a Dinky Toy compared to the other cars here in the parking. It is not unthinkable that somebody put it by accident in the trunk of another car together with some vegetables or stockings. Nonetheless it really needs to turn up before the end, otherwise miss 'B' and mr. 'C' will have to return to a distant country, 800 km from here, by wheelchair.
Miss 'B' is a good friend, so I need to remind myself to lend her my big umbrella in case their car does not turn up. The weather forecast says that we will have a lot of rain on Monday. I do hope she will send it back to me when she get home, because it is an umbrella which I made myself out of a giant doll’s bath cap.
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I feared as much. Somebody has been spreading the word that we could use the dishwasher for doing lingerie laundry. I agree that the sole use of a dishwasher for dishes is questionable (if the embee section would stop destroying the Food Art which is presented to them during lunch and dinner, then the plates would not need cleaning), but the dishwasher is not ours, so this lingerie washing has to stop. I have spread the word that the first doll now using it for laundry will be hung upside down in the old oak tree on top of the hill.
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Got two requests from the vampire dolls who like to be hung upside down in the oak tree…. Told them to go to hell. They looked most pleased and left. Vampire dolls are really not so bad if you know how to handle them.
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Ohh wow! I just came up with a fantastic idea about what to do with this pile of papers in front of me…. It is sooo simple! I just have to rename the trash can into ‘suggestion box’ and then I can ‘store’ that pile in this for indefinite period of time. Which means that I suddenly have plenty time to spend to go for a walk with miss 'K'. This is her first Meet and she seems a bit lost.
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It appears that miss 'B's car is not the only thing that is missing. It seems that somebody here is ‘shopping’. All kind of stuff is missing. Mostly bijouterie and lingerie, but also a couple of cameras, a pair of blue eyes and a bathroom door. I will have to warn everybody in an announcement, but this also means that I am going to warn the thief or thieves, which is gonna make it even harder to figure out who it is. Surveillance cameras would be handy now, but that is a total no-go for the embee section here. Which is rather strange because when it comes to having cameras they are armed to the teeth.
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Finally! A useful request on my desk. Tomorrow miss 'X' and miss 'Y' want to organize a tombola. And apparently they offer great prizes to win. The list includes all kind of stuff like bijouterie, lingerie, cameras and so on. And… their main prize is going to put this doll Meet in the history books! They announce to give away a real car! Their lottery tickets are £25 apiece, which is a lot of money, but I agree with them that it is a bargain when you can win a car for this. I will immediately inform miss 'B' that with any luck she does not have to travel back home by wheelchair.
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I need a self rescue plan. Urgently! For more than half an hour I have been forced to listen to ‘Buffy The Chatterbox’. That is not her real name, but it is a lot more accurate! Now I do not dare to watch in the mirror anymore, because I seriously fear that my ears have crumbled and fallen off. On top of that she made me empty my trash can over my desk, because it contained her ‘absolutely fabulous suggestion’ for the new CoverDoll calendar.
Miss Babblebooster’s ‘absolutely fabulous suggestion’ was to have the male embee section photographed in their underwear for next year’s CD calendar…
Indeed this is something we have never done before…. and I will stick my tongue in my ear if this is ever going to happen. First of all because after the dishwasher incident most of the underwear is still missing, which means we will have to portrait them fully…. naked….
Second of all because I think it is reasonable to presume that the reflection of their blinding white butts will burn little holes in the shutter of our professional camera when photographed. So I’ll be damned if the boss will approve to this idea, but ‘miss Rattletattle’ made me swear to discuss it with him….
so I will have to.
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Ohh my!! I am suddenly an inch away from having to stick my own tongue into my ear. Other than I expected my boss approved to the ludicrous idea of miss Turbochat. I am to announce a request to the guys to have their faces, bellies and butts portrayed for next year’s calendar. “Ohh, don’t you worry”, my boss said. “ It will be fun. You’ll see.” I fear that one of us is making a huge error in judgment and I am pretty sure that it is not me!
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Ok, that was a close call. Next year no naked male embee butts on the CD calendar. Thank goodness!! I can leave my loose tongue in its container. The male embee section thought the plan was just a joke. Indeed my boss was right, being it on a bit different level than I expected. Apparently he foresaw this to happen. Well, I admit, I clearly did not.
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You can feel the excitement in the air. Everybody is nervous. All lottery tickets for the tombola have been sold. Some dolls have spend a small fortune on buying lottery tickets. It is a real pity that I am not allowed to buy tickets myself, because I could definitely use a new camera. But I cannot risk to compromise my integrity by joining. If I accidently would win a camera then others could think that the tombola has been a put-up job.
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What a day! What should have become the highlight of the weekend almost turned into a total disaster. The tombola became a bombola, a highly explosive mixture of dolls in which even the fittest have very little chance of survival.
All went well till the thirteenth round. Miss 'Y' was giving an absolutely charming presentation of the new prize. It was just a small prize, a set of vampire teeth. But the very minute miss 'Y' showed the teeth miss 'Z' jumped forward, shouting that these were her spare teeth that had been stolen from her. Vampires are magically connected to their teeth, even to their spare ones, so an error in judgment was out of the question. Instantly the situation grew tense to the extreme, because you do not want to mess with a vampire. And to make it even worse miss 'A' started to shout that the set of lingerie, that was won by miss 'D', looked an awful lot like the one she was missing. Then all of the sudden everybody started to shout and suddenly it became clear to me that all what had been previously reported as being stolen, had apparently found its way to the tombola….
Fortunately I have the advantage of size. Not being a giant I had no trouble in working my way through the dense forest of giant legs to get to the little podium, where miss 'X' and miss 'Y' tried to reason with the furious miss 'Z'. In less than a second I managed to climb the table with the tombola, which provided me with a good overview and the opportunity for everybody to see me. And while a wall of angry dolls was closing in towards the podium I knew that I was going to be held responsible for the first and probably the biggest bitch fight in the history of our International Doll meetings. This I needed to avoid at all costs. So I decided to do the one thing that I had promised myself never to do in my function of office manager. I pointed my finger towards the doll wall, frowned and… tapped with my foot….
Even though the sound it produces is really not that much impressive, it was instantly noticed by pretty much all of the attendants. In what looked like a panic reaction the doll wall backed off, the male dolls covering their private parts with their hands and female dolls grabbing their heads to protect their wigs. Clearly, writing a blog in CD has its advantages, for everybody apparently knew what was about to happen next.
From their reaction it was plain and obvious to me that miss 'X' and miss 'Y' had not foreseen this coming. Which left me with the question how they got in possession of the stolen goods, but that was a matter to be dealt with later. Having managed to get everybody’s focus on me, I decided that first the stolen goods should all be returned to their rightful owners. And to turn the tense atmosphere I hissed to miss 'Y' to continue her lovely visual presentation of the ‘prizes’ and to miss 'X' to keep making her tempting announcements for them, after which we would hand over the ‘prizes’ to their rightful owners together with the repayment of the tickets they had bought for the lottery. It worked out great! The girls gave a performance as if their lives depended on it, which indeed it did.
All in all the tombola ended in a happy mood, even miss 'X' and miss 'Y' were happy, for they were all too much aware that even though they had ended up with empty hands, their heads were still attached to their neck bolts.
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I have just had a long chat with miss 'X' and miss 'Y'. As it is custom for this kind of chats, the ladies had brought their pipettes with tear fluid to wet their eyes and cheeks for a more dramatical effect. And while frequently dripping fresh tears in the corners of their eyes, they told me that some farmer had given them permission to use the goods for their tombola. During a walk they had come across an old barn that apparently was stuffed to the roof with valuables. The farmer apparently did not know any better than that in his old barn contained some old junk and when the girls asked him if they could use ‘that stuff inside’ for their tombola he told them generously that they were permitted to take out anything they thought they could use, for the barn was scheduled to be torn down next week and needed to be emptied anyway.
As for the money they earned, they told me that it would have been donated to the DRF (Doll Rescue Foundation), that is except for a small part which they wanted to spend on new dresses for themselves. Fair enough.
For me it is clear that miss 'X' and miss 'Y' had no ill intent. Question remains how our valuables got in that old barn in the first place. I think we will never find out.
Finished! I hope you enjoyed reading my report. If you were not on the meet, then indeed you missed a lot! To tell you the truth, many more things have happened there, but my report already is a lot longer than I wanted it to become, so I left out several other interesting things. Such as my Skype chat with miss 'C', my dear TB friend from Down Under.
As for my next blog in December…. You definitely do not want to miss it. I can assure you!
Indeed this text has been modified. I have taken out all names. Got fed up with the complaints.
If you have missed my previous report, then you can use this link to see it:
(Stellai’s blog August 2017: At Your Service
All about star dates: http://www.hillschmidt.de/gbr/sternenzeit.htm