Realdoll Concerns from a Real Woman
As Reported by Mike Kelly
You have to remember that when it comes to these dolls, a typical woman will never meet a man who owns one. More men were struck by lightning last year than purchased Realdolls. Despite this, some women who have found out about these dolls are scared to death of their implications. There are many men who have bought a doll, found the perfect woman and have then sold off their doll. Dr. Goldfoot, founder of RDOL comes to mind. Despite these facts, some women have expressed concern that the Realdolls are or will better than them and will replace them ala the movie “Stepford Wivesâ€.
Here’s a good example of this that was posted on the RDOL site that makes some interesting reading:
“As crazy as it may sound I began to wonder about the very real possibility of me becoming jealous if my husband starts preferring this doll to me. From what I see here this is more than just a toy. I know some have compared it to a vibrator for a woman. I don't agree. A vibrator is simply something to stimulate a woman's sexual organ. We don't refer to a vibrator by saying "I had sex with him", we don't have websites dedicated to our vibrators, and we don't have any emotional attachments to our vibrators. It’s just a thing. It’s also a great toy for lovemaking as a couple.
Many men find pleasure in administering this tool on their lover. The doll however is a complete image of the whole lover - literally from head to toe. I cannot "administer" this doll on my husband. It’s a complete image of someone else. Although its traditionally accepted that women can feel jealous if their man sleeps with someone else, never before in history has there been "someone else" in a synthetic form. The whole feeling of jealousy comes from the fact that someone else (or now something else) can take your place.
I have an extremely high libido and so I was not looking for this doll for the purpose of replacing me when I have headaches. I never deny my husband sex, or refuse to wear lingerie etc etc. I am 25 years old and quite attractive. But somehow the image of this "absolutely perfect" woman whose body rivals that of any top model or playboy centerfold disturbs me, even though she's not real. What if she starts exciting my husband more than he ever could be by my body? What if the "intense" orgasms she gives him are better than those he could get from me? What if he starts buying the new perfect and ever-young model every few years while I just grow older? Will my purpose be reduced to the house-keeper, the companion, the mother, someone to love the way you love your best friend, while the perfect sex partner becomes a true sex object, designed for that purpose? She might not move or make sounds... yet. But I think in a few years the experience with an object like this will become just about as real as it gets.
Sure, I don't think people will stop going out there and getting the real thing. But you know, a lot of relationships will NOT be formed. Many (single) men, even now did not feel like they need to go out there and find someone, or at least it was not be as important as before. I think of the women they might not meet, perhaps even their real life partners. Cause sometimes-true love doesn't just find you; sometimes you have to look (and court and wait and give yourself a chance to fall in love and find the most fulfilling human relationship there can be - the one between you and your human life partner). This sure will be much harder to find when your mind is already blurred by the image of the perfect human already lying in your bed, no waiting or looking. Why try so hard to find something else when the perfect woman is already there in bed waiting for you?
Anyway, I'm writing a book here. With regards to my case, I have already found my perfect companion - I just don't want to loose him in any (even minor) way. Sure, I won't ever be jealous of his love for his car, or his sound system or his favorite hobby. I will only be jealous for feelings that I feel should belong to me and that's what I feared the Realdoll would invoke.
As long as I am his number one in everything I give to him (whether sexually or emotionally) this will be ok. It might be wrong of me to want to be his favorite person to talk to, laugh or cry with, the person he desires most in bed - but its only because that's the way I feel about him. I know that as his human woman nothing will take my place, I just don’t want anything to take me AWAY from my role in his life.“
Dr. Goldfoot - one of the founders of the Realdoll hobby (RDOL was one of the first Realdoll web sites ever created) has allot to say on the subject also:
“Unless you normally hook up with starlets and models, an RD is the best damn looking female a man can have for keeps, as opposed to renting an escort for $400/hr or jumping through hoops for a high-maintenance girlfriend or trophy wife. Contemplate how much looks really matter to you.
At the risk of over-intellectualizing the subject of RD vs. woman, let us start from the premise that sexual experiences ultimately begin & end in your own head. There is much more to RD sex than physical sensation (though warm RD silicone is quite wonderful). And a great fantasy beats a mediocre reality any day.
In relationships & in personal pleasure seeking, there is a sense of investing time & energy in the hope of some kind of payoff (in the case of relationships, I would hope most people view the payoff as mutual-benefit). Your money is simply your time/energy converted into a tangible, exchangeable form.
Buying an RD is only the "admission price" to begin your fantasy production, kind of like the way we make movies in Hollywood. It's not all the millions of dollars that makes a great movie; it's the phenomenal creative effort of scores of people. If anyone fails to give their best, it'll reflect badly on the whole movie: the audience won't be won over.
What we do with RDs is to create a powerful, intoxicating fantasy using this doll as our main "prop". Thus you are both the "movie studio" & the audience. You'll have the creative responsibility that would ordinarily be the woman's: you select and buy her clothes & accessories, dress (and undress) her, fix her hair, keep her clean and powdered, pose her provocatively, even create her vocal soundtrack if you wish. Believe me, if good women did not make all this effort for us, we would notice!
So, it is one thing to discuss the virtues & drawbacks of the RD as a "prop" in terms of its lifelike textures & shapes. But what you really want to know is, will your fantasy be as thrilling as you'd hoped, after all this investment of time & energy (only some of which is convertible back to money)?
My belief is that the answer lies primarily in you. I perceive that the happiest RD owners share a love of imaginative play. As children we must've been engrossed for hours in our glorious fantasies enacted sometimes with toys or art or games. The question is not, is screwing this particular thing just like a woman? But rather: Can you still play like a child with your toys?â€
Realdolls are many things to many people. The perfect use is as a sex toy to keep a single man happy while he looks for a life partner or as a fun sex toy to spark up the sex life of a loving couple. To some, they are useful for photography, the perfect model to photograph over and over again.
I do have to agree with Dr. Goldfoot on one point he made: “Realdolls are the best damn looking female a man can have for keeps, as opposed to renting an escort for $400/hr or jumping through hoops for a high-maintenance girlfriend or trophy wife.†That alone would be a concern for real women – and should be, for the dolls are getting prettier and prettier with each generation made.
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