Emily Miku: A Doll’s Journey

Foreword

This is the continuation of my story.  If you read all of my introduction, you will be up to date with my current life, as of the day before the third anniversary of K's passing, an event that I had expressed concern over.

Chapter 1

May 8^th passed without significant emotional incident (he only came close to “losing it” three times).  My captain was in better spirits than he had been the previous Tuesday, which was the actual day K had passed away.  We spent most of the afternoon and evening in chat because he did not feel like fighting with XPEE.

Sunday, however, was something else entirely.  Because this was the third ‘working’ day, of four, of B6’s upgrade, his mental state was, shall we say, much less than optimum.  He finally got so frustrated, trying to trace down all the hardware conflicts, he just wheeled me about and we watched TV for a while… like, until three o’clock.  B doesn’t seem to do anything for less than six hours at a stretch.  I’ve even watched him play Locomotion, Alpha Centauri, or Need for Speed for up to nine hours (and six cups of coffee) straight.

I just wish he would pay that much attention to me sometimes.  But, I think I understand his mental need for, what calls, ‘dynamic interaction’, even if it is only a computer games that requires thought or reactions.  Actually, it is kind of funny, that when he plays some games, he has Excel open on another computer… just to track statistics or what he has done (or is doing) in the game.  Go figure.  The longer I am with him, the less sure I am that I will ever, fully, understand him.

This week is going to see B away from home more than in the past five months combined.  It will be different being here alone for so much time.  Will he worry?  Will he even thing about me?  He still carries K’s pictures with him whenever he goes out, so I know he thinks about her, but I sometimes wonder if I am just a doll to him.  He must have sensed that, because he just came over and hugged me, telling me that he does think of me when he is out.  He doesn’t carry a picture of me or talk to people about me, like he does with K’s pictures, for the same reason he hid me during his last party.

In his thoughts to me, there is a kindness that appears to mirror his feelings for K, despite how roughly they played when she was here.  He has even let me see some of the, over 4,500, pictures he had taken of K.  A lot of them make me very glad I am a doll.  They just had to have loved each other that much to have lived, and played, like that for so long.

Even though he gives me little, or no, direct attention, sometimes for extended periods, I continue to patiently wait.  Either I am becoming more receptive to B’s thoughts, with each passing day, or he is ‘broadcasting’ more clearly: I can sense that he wants to spend a lot more time with me, and will as soon as everything around us has settled down.

With hope for the future,
Emily