November & Laughs.

Dear Readers,

November, well near enough as of posting. Trying to pose to make it look like we are having a good belly laugh is not so easy. Lubov, however, gave it her best shot for this months Dolltime calendar Girl.

OK, so not quite the effect we wanted but not bad to look at we hope.

On the subject of laughs our topic for November is .......  Russian Humour ...... or to be more precise Humour from the old Soviet Union.

When I lived in Ukraine with and among Ukrainians & Russians, I found that, not only was their hospitality generous and exemplary, but also they have a wonderful sense of humour. This may seem surprising considering the regime they had lived under and a generation under Stalin and up to the late 1950's (later for some Soviet Block countries) were imprisoned  - Just for telling Jokes.

Three people are in a prison camp, and decide to compare reasons for being sent there.

The first one says: "I was late for work, so I was arrested for sabotage."

The second one says: "I was early, so I was arrested for spying."

The third one says: "I was on time; I was arrested for buying a foreign watch off the black market."

When walking along a quiet street from the train station in a small town to 'home' (at that time) I popped in to a General Store for some cigarettes and a drink. The store was empty except for an large woman sitting behind the counter. All the shelves were empty, completely void of any goods. The woman behind the counter was obviously a state employee & the shop a State shop.

 A man with dementia was standing in front of a grocery outlet of the old Soviet Union with an empty bag. He could not remember if he was going in to the store or coming out of it.

A woman walks into a store and asks: "Don't you have any bread?" The store assistant replies "No lady, this is the store which does not have any meat. The store opposite is the store which doesn't have any bread".

On a crowded & uncomfortable bus (old hillbilly style) journey from one town to another the driver turned his radio up so all passengers could hear the popular comedian broadcasting on the station. For many miles the whole busload of people was laughing roariously - even me who could barely understand a word. Just goes to show delivery of a joke is more important than the joke itself. So forgive us if our writing of them does not reveal their true value. (See below for video links).

An old woman stands in the market with a sign "Chernobyl mushrooms." A man goes up to her and asks, "Hey, what are you doing? Who's going to buy Chernobyl mushrooms?" And she tells him, "Why, lots of people. Some for their boss, some for their mother-in-law..."

I met some very interesting people who became friends during my time in Ukraine. They also had some very interesting relationships. The 'Best Man' at my wedding there was living with Lubov,  a beautiful Russian woman .......... her husband was also living with them. (OK, so now you know where I got the name from - well I could hardly use the name of my ex-wife).

"Irina! I didn`t know you smoked. When did you start?"

"The night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray."

An anxious boss asks his secretary.

"What did my wife say when you told her that I would be home late today?"

Oh, she just asked, "Can I absolutely rely on this information for sure?"

As I have said, the Russian & Ukrainian people I found to be wonderful and generous hosts, even though at the time many could barely afford to be and often making personal sacrifices to provide their guest with food. At each and every invitation out would come the Vodka, drunk straight frequently with a toast - and there were lots of those - and no one went home until the bottle was empty. So my liver took a pounding in those days.

Three men were on their way home and were very drunk. They came to some railway tracks and started to crawl along them. One of the drunks says "What a long staircase we have got onto, and the bannisters are so cold!". Another of the drunks replies " It's OK, I see the elevator is coming".

I would love to go on but this blog is now long enough. Perhaps another time I might relate some more stories from that (for me) happy time. If you have an interest in more Russian Humour we highly recommend the 90 minute documentary 'Hammer and Tickle'. by Ben Lewis if you can download it (torrent). Here is a starting point and worth watching IOO. And you can explore other sketches from the show from there on Youtube. Or just google Hammer & Tickle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEgRit8dxDY

After watching this you will see the cheese shop sketch in the right hand column of the youtube link. Click on that and you will see exactly what I was saying above, I just modified the joke a bit. It also includes a toilet paper joke regarding the shortages which I think is a hoot.

For more about Russian humour: http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/2006/05/hammertickle/

With the fall of communism their jokes have moved on to the 'New Russians' who got rich very quick while much the populous remain(ed?) poor.

Two New Russians meet outside a shop. One says "Look I just bought this tie for $1000.00". The other replies, "Are you mad? I know a shop where you can buy it for twice that price".

Have Fun.

muz and the Dolltime Girls.