Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine
As reported by Mike Kelly
Everyone I hope has heard of Dr. Goldfoot – founder of RDOL – the first Realdoll website. How did Dr. Goldfoot ever get his name? Why from an old Vincent Price movie that featured Vincent Price as a Mad Scientist trying to destroy the world with an army of bikini-clad robot babes (Fembots) !!!!!!!!!
This silly parody of spy movies is surprisingly entertaining and light-hearted. This movie has JUST been released on DVD! Worth a watch with your favorite Realdoll! J The film begins in San Francisco, where a woman in a trench coat (Susan Hart) is walking down the street. She is hit by a car and shot at by bank robbers but walks away unharmed. She walks into a cafeteria, goes to a table, and drinks a glass of milk. The liquid pours out through holes in her coat. She is noticed by a Craig Gamble (Frankie Avalon). He offers her his sandwich and she fawns all over him. The two talk, and we find out that the woman's name is Diane, and that she thinks Craig is a fellow named Todd Armstrong. They leave the cafeteria and go to Craig's apartment. There Diane tries to "seduce" Craig.
A fellow named Igor is watching Craig and Diane on a monitor. His boss, a Dr. Goldfoot (Vincent Price), enters the room and tells Igor that he has sent Diane to the wrong person. Dr. Goldfoot calls Diane (addressing her as Number 11) and tells her that she is with the wrong fellow. She immediately gets up and leaves Craig's apartment.
Dr. Goldfoot and Igor are watching Todd Armstrong (Dwayne Hickman), a very wealthy businessman, on their monitor. They take control of Todd's car and cause it to crash very near Diane, who is pretending to look at her flat tire. Igor calls in Numbers 1-9, other Fembots who look very much like Diane. They are to watch Diane win Todd over. Todd and Diane meet, and Diane flirts with Todd. He offers to drive her to a garage because of her flat tire. They kiss in his car until a cop comes and tells them to leave. Todd and Diane speed away.
Dr. Goldfoot then starts teaching the Fembots how to seduce their assigned men, and showing them tools with which to get rid of any other ladies that might stand in their way (ie-opera glasses with poisoned spikes in them). Goldfoot then hooks the girls up to machines that train them in the field with which their particular man is associated.
That night, Diane (Fembot number 11) and Todd go to a club where Dr. Goldfoot and Igor are posing as waiters to spy on them. Diane gets Todd to drink heavily and convinces him to marry her in his drunken state.
Craig goes to a newspaper stand and sees a wedding photo of Diane and Todd on the cover of a magazine.
Dr. Goldfoot is sending three more of his Fembots off on assignment. Igor informs him that Number 12 is about to come out of the Bikini Machine. However, this one goes awry, and Number 12 comes out all wrong.
Todd and Diane are in Todd's penthouse, and Todd is angry because Diane spent their wedding night in a separate bed. She tells him that it was because she did not feel they were properly married without getting her wedding gift. She has him sign all of his stock over to her, and makes him promise to sign over a building as well. She then leaves to go shopping.
Craig is driving and sees Diane standing on the sidewalk. He pulls over to talk to her, but she claims not to recognize him. They scuffle as Diane tries to pull away, and Craig accidentally pulls Diane's mechanical hand off. Just then, Dr. Goldfoot and Igor arrive for their meeting with Diane. They take her with them, and she gives the stock papers to Dr. Goldfoot. However, she has forgotten the Power of Attorney paper, and Dr. Goldfoot says he will reprimand her by putting her in the "Chair."
Craig calls his Uncle Donald and tells him what happened on the sidewalk. His Uncle dismisses him as crazy, so Craig investigates on his own. He finds Dr. Goldfoot's house and sneaks inside. He ends up in the lair and sees some of the bikini clad Fembot (hey – Jazzi would fit right in!!!!). He gets into the lab just in time to see the new, improved Number 12 come out of the machine. Dr. Goldfoot is also sending out two more of his ladies on assignment. Number 11 (Diane) has also been in the Chair for punishment. Dr. Goldfoot lets her out, and Craig sees her. He then makes his escape through a window.
The next morning, Todd wakes up in his apartment and fetches Craig. He admits that he signed another paper, but with Craig's name. At Dr. Goldfoot's lair, Diane is being punished for her failure.
Craig and Todd both go to Uncle Donald this time, and take Diane's hand as evidence. However, Uncle Donald is stunned by the news, so they leave. They go to Dr. Goldfoot's house and run into the man himself. Dr. Goldfoot gives them a tour of the facilities, after trapping them inside. He then invites them to dinner, where he informs Todd that Diane has been reprogrammed (ala a typical sixties James Bond movie). After dinner, Dr. Goldfoot gives them a family history and a tour of his torture chamber. He then locks Todd and Craig up, and tries to force Todd to sign a proper Power of Attorney paper. Todd refuses, so Dr. Goldfoot puts him on his "pendulum machine." Craig tricks Igor and escapes, freeing Todd from the machine. They flee the house in their car, while Dr. Goldfoot and Igor follow on a motorcycle.
The chase continues for a while, and finally ends with Dr. Goldfoot and Igor being blown up at a missile firing range. To celebrate, Todd treats Craig to a vacation in Paris. On the plane, they see a flight attendant who turns out to be Diane. Dr. Goldfoot and Igor laugh from the cockpit, and the film ends.!
Film Stats:
Year of Release: 1965
Cast: Vincent Price as Dr. Goldfoot, Frankie Avalon as Craig Gamble, Dwayne Hickman as Todd Armstrong, Susan Hart as Diane, Fred Clark as D.J. Pevney
Producer: Anthony Carras
Director: Norman Taurog
Executive Producers: Samuel Z. Arkoff and James H. Nicholson
Screenplay: written by Robert Kaufman, James H. Nicholson, and Elwood Ullman
Length of Film: Approx. 88 min (color).
Released by: American International Pictures
Interesting Notes About the Film
-To promote the picture, AIP created a "Traveling Bikini Machine" that could be seen driving on the freeway in California.
-This was American International Pictures' first film with a budget of over $1 million.
-The title of the film was originally "Dr. Goldfoot and the Sex Machine," but it was changed to please the censors.
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