Fashion 101, Lesson 5: THE BEST AND WORST OF THE OSCARS, ACCORDING TO ZOE!

" Fashion 101, Lesson 5: THE BEST AND WORST OF THE OSCARS, ACCORDING TO ZOE"

"By Zoe"

Hi, everyone! This edition is special, because it’s not full of tips and hints like the others. This one is just for fun, to look at the best and worst fashions of Oscars 2012. I love the Oscars. It’s like the SuperBowl for geeks! I love movies, and I love fashion, so the Oscars are pretty much my favorite thing to watch. I love seeing what the stars decide to wear for this big night, and every year I’m amazed. Sometimes I’m amazed because of how beautiful they look, and sometimes I’m amazed because I just can’t figure out what they were thinking. I’ll be looking at five of the best dressed (in my opinion, of course) and five of the worst dressed. You may disagree with me, and that’s totally cool. Fashion is very subjective. In my search for the photos you’ll see below, I saw several stars on both “best dressed” and “worst dressed” lists for different reasons. I’ll explain my reasons below each photo, and I hope you find this recap entertaining.

WORST DRESSED

These are in no particular order. My five worst dressed are Kristen Wiig, Viola Davis, Shailene Woodley, Michelle Williams, and (yes, I’m going there) Angelina Jolie. Let’s start with Kristen.

I love Kristen. She’s funny and talented. But this dress is such a shame. First, the color is totally blah. It’s almost the exact color of her skin, which creates the illusion that she’s naked except for some puffy stuff around her legs. The bodice isn’t flattering either, but the biggest thing wrong with it is the color. Just behind her you can see a bit of a teal dress – if Kristen had gone with a bold color choice like that it would have improved the dress, even though the shape still isn’t flattering.

Viola Davis

Here we have a gorgeous color, but the bottom part right at her knees looks like someone took a pair of scissors to it. The top also doesn’t fit her well and she has far too much cleavage showing. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m all for a little sexy, especially in an evening gown. But there are limits. This is an extremely formal event, and breasts spilling out of a cutout is just inappropriate. On that note…

Angelina Jolie

The dress slit to her crotch is too much – it crosses the line from sexy to trashy. And the way the dress is gathered all on her left hip creates a very strange silhouette; like she has too much fabric in her dress and has to bunch it awkwardly just to make room for the leg slit. And it’s black. Yes, black is classy and traditional, but it’s also a little boring. There are so many beautiful colors in the world that never get worn because people think black is the only way to be formal. Be brave, ladies! Embrace the colors!

Michelle Williams

Bravo, Michelle, for the color choice. But points must be taken away for the odd peplum waist (that’s what the bubbly thing around her waist is called). The peplum ruins the lines of Michelle’s body and makes her look like she’s trying to hide her waistline. This dress is otherwise very beautiful and I can’t help but think that if she’d just removed that peplum then she wouldn’t be on my worst dressed list. J

Shailene Woodley

Last but not least, the adorable Shailene. She’s 20 years old, beautiful, talented…so why is she hiding behind this dowdy dress? Like Viola and Angelina, she’s dressed inappropriately, but while the other two were too sexy, Shailene is not sexy enough. There is a balance, and she missed the mark. In trying to appear classy she comes off as much older and boring. As a 20 year old, she should be wearing something sleeveless and with a lower neckline because she’s young enough and has the body to pull it off. This frumpy dress just doesn’t do her any favors.

BEST DRESSED

I want to end this article on a positive note, so that’s why I saved Best Dressed for the end. My picks are Milla Jovovich, Glenn Close, Octavia Spencer, Cameron Diaz, and Ellie Kemper. Let’s start with Glenn Close, since she’s a wonderful example of age appropriate dress.

Here we have a well fitted, tasteful dress in a beautiful and unique color. The jacket provides the right amount of coverage so Glenn doesn’t show too much skin, while also creating a unique visual. I’m a fan of blazers, but never knew you could wear one with an evening gown! I actually saw Glenn on a couple of “worst dressed” lists because of the blazer – it seems most people wanted her to bare more skin. But I disagree because Glenn is an older lady and while obviously beautiful she is classy enough to know how to look beautiful without trying to look too young. And yet she’s showing more skin than Shailene Woodley…see what I mean about there being a balance?

Milla Jovovich

I love this look. The dress is beautifully fitted and the single sleeve creates a visual interest to the dress that would be missing if it were completely sleeveless. I also really love the metallic shimmer instead of being plain white. Her hair and makeup are both flawlessly done; she is so glamorous. Note that she’s not wearing much jewelry, and that’s a good thing. I’ve talked about this before, how too much jewelry can clutter an outfit and ruin the overall look. Here she’s letting the dress be the focus, which is exactly what she should have done.

Octavia Spencer

Here’s another example of gorgeous metallic instead of plain old white. I also love this dress because it’s appropriate for her larger figure. She’s not showing too much skin and her cleavage is in no danger of popping out inappropriately. I don’t love the way it narrows down by her ankles simply because I think that emphasizes her hips, but overall the dress and understated jewelry all work together to create a beautiful and tasteful total package.

Cameron Diaz

Now this is how you do a nude colored dress. It’s not the exact shade of her skin, so there’s a lovely balance of color. The dress fits perfectly and is very flattering to her figure. Her ruffles also have an orderly design to them, unlike Kristen Wiig’s, so Cameron’s dress looks more polished and put together, which by extension makes Cameron look more polished and put together.

Ellie Kemper

I’ll admit, I don’t actually know who Ellie Kemper is, because I haven’t seen the movie she’s best known for (“The Bridesmaids”). However, I adore this dress. First, it’s orange (my favorite color) and I have never seen an orange evening gown. Second, it’s sparkly, and I like sparkly things (what girl doesn’t?) Third, the dress is simple and not burdened down with unnecessary lace, sleeves, frills, feathers, ruffles, or anything else that tends to decorate Oscar gowns. Less can indeed be more, as Ellie proves here.
If I could go to the Oscars, I think I’d wear something like this:

This dress has everything that appeals to me – it’s orange, it has sparkles, it has one shoulder strap for visual interest, it’s form fitting in the right places to emphasize the curves, but then flares out at the bottom for more visual interest and a touch of elegance. You know, this model kind of looks like me! Maybe it’s a sign. :D

--Zoë