August - and Ye Olde Internet #3

Dear Readers,

My how time flies these days, August already. With CoverDoll as our browser homepage we have enjoyed the last few weeks immensely. But time moves on and so to this months blog. This will be the last of our medievil tweets (as they do not seem of much interest).

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With Silver Bells and Cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row.

This little ye olde tweet has several 'historical' interpretations, probably all BS. One refers to Queen Mary I of England, otherwise known as 'Bloody Mary' for her vicious persecution of Protestants who broke away from the corruption of the Catholic Church during the 'Reformation' in the 16th Century............ Click 'read more' for explanation, about guillotines and some wierd sex. 

Mary was a staunch Catholic and in contrast to her father Henry VIII and her half brother Edward VI who supported the break away from the influence of the Pope (Mary, Mary quite contrary) she was determined to restore Roman Catholicism and the supremacy of the Pope back to her Realm, England (how does your Garden grow). So determined in fact that any dissenters were tortured (with silver bells and cockle shells - which are colloquiums for instruments of torture) and then executed en masse - the 'pretty maids' being the rows of gallows, guillotines (also known as 'Maids') or stake pyres for burning 'protestant heretics' alive - which was her favourite.

On the subject of guillotines, we were surprised to discover that it had been used throughout Europe since the 12th Century (or some form of it such as the 'Halifax Gibbet' with the first recorded use being in Ireland in 1307). However it was not until the 'Enlightenment' thinkers such as Voltaire and Locke, who argued for more humanitarian methods of execution beyond hanging, burning, axing, being blown apart or being pulled apart (with horses) that Dr Guillotine sought to refine the mechanism and proposed its use to the French Assembly around 1789. They employed a German engineer to 'refine' the design.

The guillotine was designed to administer a fast and painless death to anyone, regardless of age, sex or wealth, an embodiment of such concepts as equality and humanity. Before the French Assembly's decree in 1971 to use the guillotine, beheading was usually reserved for the rich or powerful, and it continued to be so in other parts of Europe; however, France's guillotine was available to all. It has long been a puzzle to us why the Guillotine (as opposed to say Hanging or the Electric Chair) was not more universally used until the end of Capital punishment (in Europe anyway) as it was so quick, clean and efficient.

The practice of holding the head up to the crowd was not so much for the crowd to see the head as for the one beheaded to see the people he / she had supposedly wronged. It was thought that the head remained conscious for about three minutes after being cut off. In fact medical science today believes it remains conscious for only about 13 seconds - give or take.

Anecdotes from our little book of Weird Sex ............ Believe it or not.

An 18th century French Admiral by the name of Pierre Andre de Suffren (1729 to 1788) was determined to keep his men satisfied. In pursuit of this he devised a system of 'marriage' for seamen who had to share bunks because of the lack of space on board. He usually paired a younger with an elder. It was far better, he maintained for his seamen to engage in battle with a 'gay' heart than to slink into some shady brothel while in Port.

As an alternative, Suffren set up three barrels on board not far from 'the heads' (toilets set over the bow of a ship), filled with 'welcoming tallow'. These barrels had holes drilled in them at various heights and with conveniently different diameters to suit height and size. The holes were nicknamed nymphet, girl and grandmother. Suffren boasted that his craft could offer "a ride like on horseback mid ocean and with no horse on board".

Barrels with holes & filled with tallow? ....... sounds like a prototype dollie to us , we have wonderfully cum such a long way since then. We can confirm that Admiral Suffren was openly homosexual, eccentric and somewhat of a legend to French sailors ______ say no more .

hugs and kisses

dolltime