"MACHINE GIRL - The Review"
"As Reported by By Dollyforme"
It’s summertime and for me, summer movies are filled with Cyberpunk, Exploitation, Comedy, Martial Arts and lastly, Action. I’ve seen all the hits so far, Transformers, Star Trek, Terminator – so what’s the best movie for me this summer? Machine Girl. What could be better than a movie about a gal with a machine gun for an arm? I actually rented this movie for a buck – and it was a buck well spent.
Â
So what is it about? Well, it’s an exploitation revenge flick of the highest (or rather lowest) order, with gore flying around by the bucket loads. There Will Be Blood! The Story: College girl Ami lives alone with her younger brother Yu after their parents killed themselves from shame over false murder accusations. Vowing never to lose any more loved ones because of violence, Ami and Yu try to settle any argument they encounter in a civil, peaceful way. Which gets very difficult to do when Yu and his friend Takeshi are targeted by a vicious gang of bullies, led by the son of a Yakuza-clan leader. The gang’s indifferent brutality leads to Yu and Takeshi being killed, and when Ami tries to investigate what happened she gets viciously assaulted by the gang members’ parents. Ami snaps, forgoes her peaceful ways and becomes a killing machine out for justice. Killing the Yakuza clan turns out to be quite difficult though, because they are members of the Hattori Hanzo ninja dynasty! When a fight with these ninjas has Ami losing an arm, she gets nursed back to health by Takeshi’s parents who own a garage. Before you can say “A-Team†they make a wicked new arm for Ami: an eight-barreled machine gun. Vengeance is nigh! This film falls happily into the “mega-gore†category.
Â
Everyone who gets wounded in this film starts spraying gallons of fake blood around, interspersed with some smoke from the pneumatic systems used to propel all these fluids. Knives, chainsaws, katanas, shuriken, a flying guillotine, a drillbra, the aforementioned super machine gun… all feeble excuses to show as many outrageously bloody effects as possible. All this of course is shown in the film without taking itself the least bit seriously, and the end result is a comedy. Even the tragic deaths of the innocents are played for laughs here, either by their outrageous nature or by the cartoonish evilness of the murderers.
When a schoolfriend gets killed by Ami’s enemies, the leader of the group tells his underlings to rape the corpse, saying the opportunity to have sex with a college girl doesn’t come by every day (upon which command the goons start disrobing enthusiastically). In bad taste? Sure! But it’s so over the top silly that you cannot take it serious, therefore the overall tone remains light as a feather. And seeing these evildoers get their due punishment later on is all the more fun because of it. Acting is indeterminable in a movie as purposely bad as this one. It tells the story and never are you supposed to expect a realistic reflection on human nature. Hamming things up in this film is not a risk, it’s a requirement! Asami and Honoka, the female leads are incredibly easy on the eyes. Especially since they are always doing fun things like hammering nails through yakuza thugs or sawing them in half while giggling to each other. No matter how cruel or unusual they punish their enemies, you keep rooting for them.
Â
So is this film a masterpiece? Sadly, no. It sure as hell is fun, but almost all of the choice bits can actually be seen in that glorious trailer. The rest is basically filler, but it could be worse: at least it’s not boring filler. This movie is highly recommended, provided you can get into the proper mindset for this flick.
CoverDoll has no affiliation with any of the above sites.
Disclaimer
CoverDoll Publications takes no responsibility for any problems accruing in anyway or form what so ever, in any business transactions, loss of funds or loss of goods in transit, repair or modification etc, from any of the above sites that you may do business with.
© 1999-2009 CoverDoll digital publications
