Fire Ball

Submitted by Stellai on July 7, 2021 - 6:05pm

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Stellai’s blog July 2021:

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Fireball

Hmm.... better start with a little warning: This time my blog will not be for the faint of heart. So when you are made of TPE and you have trouble sleeping, or when you have a habit of chewing on your artificial nail extensions when things get a bit rough, or when you are made of porcelain and have broken your left thumb three times already, then I strongly recommend that you DO NOT read this blog and only watch the photo series. As more often is the case in this blog, the photos have absolutely NOTHING to do with the text whatsoever – sigh - .

About the photos,.... after the last photo in this series, indeed, things got a teeny-weeny bit nasty between me and Dibs. Nothing serious and certainly nothing I couldn’t handle, but Koen, aka The Saviour Saint Of Damsels NOT In Distress, our Hero In Times Of NO-Need, mister Stick-His-BIG-Nose-In-Other-Dolls-Businesses, he thought it necessary to put away the camera halfway our water fight and intervene in my affairs.

Anyway, while the thought of continuing this blog ranting about Koen is most appealing to me, I'll have drop this subject. This because I know you expect me to continue the story of my previous blog, of which you can find the link at the very bottom of this new blog.

Day 5

9.15 hrs am

For a doll that has managed to triple her salary, I feel pretty stupid. All I need is 50 cents to make this rocket taking me back to earth. How hard can it be to find 50 cents?! It seems to me that I must have piles of 50 cent coins somewhere by now. Probably stored in a piggy doll bank, or in a giant size sock.... Thinking of it, I have no idea where Elon has stored the salary he is paying me, but it certainly is not in this rocket, otherwise I would have found it by now. In 15 minutes I will have my daily video chat with Musk. I do hope for his sake that he will have a plausible explanation why my salary is nowhere to be found in this rocket office. I will put this first on today’s agenda.

!0.15 hrs am

Wow, I am screwed big time!! No 50 cents will be found anywhere in this floating space vessel. And what is even worse, I was reminded to the fact that my contract for this job states I have agreed to participate in “events that involve making first contact with dolls of Mars and to ask them for the recepy of their favourite candy bars”..... When I signed the contract I presumed Elon wanted me to visit the Candy Bar Factory where they make Mars candy bars to get an interview with a CEO, so he could find out if he could make his cars run on cheap chocolate instead of expensive electricity. Not even for a second it occurred to me that I was supposed to interview real Marsian dolls somewhere deep in space.

As for my unauthorised space walk of yesterday, which resulted in testing my power boots, Elon was surprisingly mild. He just wanted to know all about it. But when I told him about my duct tape solution (to fix the panel that broke off during my landing attempt on his rocket), I noticed he got a bit pale around the nose. It is one of the few things I envy about embees. Whereas all other dolls need to use blush powder to achieve this, embees have a trick to change colour of their skin from the inside out. Quite handy I think, because it saves a lot of time getting facial colours in place for photoshoot posing.

A bit less disturbing matter for Elon was my remark that that the rocket was no longer set to take off for Mars and that I had been successful in my attempt to make it point towards earth.... He told me that it was not a big problem. His engineers would be able to re-adjust the direction again by remote control. He expected it would take them half an hour to reset the rocket’s destination. My announcement that I had no desire of going to Mars and that I would quit my job if we would not come to an agreement on this, was completely ignored. Damn you, Musk!

So I now have half an hour utmost to make this rocket take off to earth before engineering takes over. And since I am not going to find a 50 cents coin, one of them metal rings, that keep the panels on the outside of this rocket in place, will have to do the trick.... I am in need of a lot of luck!!

11.05 hrs am

Got it!!

I had to break off two panels on the outside close to the window to get the ring I needed and I have no time to fix those panels, so I guess the maintenance team will be really pissed when they find out. But hey, “needs must when the devil drives, my dear Watson.”

Now I pray this metal ring will suffice to replace a 50 cent coin to set off this rocket.....

11.07 hrs am

Damn!! The ring is too big! It is just a little bit too big, but enough to make it stuck rock solid in the slot. I can’t get it in or out anymore. I feel I am about to panic. This is NOT good. I need to think straight....

11.12 hrs am

NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!! The panel lights are flashing.... Engineering must have speeded up their work. I need to slow them down. There is only one solution!...

11.14 hrs am

I am not sure if this was a smart move, because the rocket is now like a dead fish floating in the water. I have unplugged the main switch, which has triggered the safety alarm to set off. The panel is no longer flashing, but also my setting for earth is gone. Fortunately the rocket still points towards earth.... But what really got my eye is a button in the safety alarm panel with a display that now suddenly says ‘ENGAGE’. Unfortunately there is no way telling what will happen when I press it. It would be handy to have a brief video chat with engineering about this, but when I unplugged the main switch, the video screen turned black as well and I also think it highly doubtful the dolls from engineering will be very willing to support me right now....

11.15 hrs am

OHH F***CK! I can see the nose of the rocket is changing direction. I need to make a decision about pressing that button. It is now or never!.... It is... NOW!! ENGAGE!!

11.23 hrs am

Ok, this looks good. Steady as she goes! After having a slight hiccup and a couple of backfires the engine of the rocket is now running smoothly, that is, if you can say something like that from a rocket engine, because the noise it is making is beyond compare. Musk really needs to look into this. I will tell him when I am back, which won’t be long now, because it looks like this rocket is even more eager to get home than I am, because it keeps speeding. Earth is getting closer real fast now.

11.28 hrs am

Since my assistance was not required to get this rocket into orbit, it is reasonable to belief that the autopilot, which has put this rocket in orbit, will also put it nicely back on the ground and then I presume it will taxi me back to Space X. Can’t say that I have seen any wheels on the outside to support this idea, but that does not mean there aren’t any, right?.... right??....

11.43 hrs am

I am not a rocket expert, so what is happening right now may be entirely normal, but I do hope it is temporarily. A couple of minutes ago the rocket started to have a little shiver, which by now has increased to a level 6 earthquake, being it that we are not even close to the surface of earth. Outside my window I can see the clouds rapidly getting closer, but what troubles me even more is this string of misty substance that is rushing by on the left side of my window. Can’t tell if it is just a local string of cloud passing by or if this is the kind of smoke meaning we’re on fire. Cannot see where it is coming from, but it sure passes damn close to the panels I needed to break to get my 50 cents coin alternative.

11.45 hrs am

We are going too fast. Way too fast!! I need to slow down this rocket, otherwise we’re going to crash. Since there are no wings, so no ailerons, I do hope Elon has provided this rocket with a decent parachute for this kind of calamities, because I fear my bed sheets are not going to do the trick to stop this giant size rocket. Not by far.

11.51 hrs am

I’m losing faith and I am getting nerves! I can see fragments of rocket pieces passing my window like bright red glowing meteors. I'll be damned if the outside this rocket is not on fire and I' am damned if it is! One thing is for sure, no parachute will stop this fireball! This is not going to be a happy landing. I have to stop making notes. There are times with more pressing matters than reporting and this is one of them! I need to save my ass. I NEED TO GET OFF, RIGHT NOW!!

11.59 hrs am

The door is jammed.... Probably melting. No way to get out. I am not sure why I bother to continue making notes, because in a few minutes I am gonna be incinerated and crash somewhere in an ocean, or maybe on land, who know, and whatever will be left of my notes, it will be unreadable. I hope Koen and Elon will arrange a decent funeral for me to bury the metal remains of my skeleton. Something with plastic flowers and a sufficient supply of eyedrops for the obligatory tears for the gang. Goodbye my dear readers of CoverDoll. Do not expect to see another blog from me in two months, because cat dolls have nine lives, ScoonimDolls have more than nine, but for both of us there is a day that you have run out of lives and I fear this is the day for me.

It has been an honour writing for you.

Please tell Dibby I am sorry for pushing her into the aquarium and, no, she cannot use my superbike to make wheelies.

To be continued…

or more likely: not to be continued…

Stellai

P.S. If you feel a need to say something at my funeral, you may want to re-read my three previous blogs about SpaceX: