Implosion and Explosion

Stellai’s blog September 2021: 

Click on the image above for full size and the gallery

Implosion and Explosion

Yeah, I am still here.

Oh, please, do me a favour and try to look a little bit more surprised. It really wasn’t that obvious that I was to live another day at the end of my previous blog. I very well could have run out of them, you know, lifes. And with good reason! When playing video games I die all the time. I dare even say I am a professional death addict, because when I am gaming I have this fearless cutting edge attitude that gets me everywhere, but seldom in once.

Ok, I admit in real life I'm a little more careful. A broken fingernail may not be life-threatening, but it sure is a pain to fix. That's why I have this rule: always use your fist when knocking someone down and if you want to kick someone in the ass, make sure you are wearing sturdy shoes!

To those amongst you who like to know how I did manage to get out of that burning rocket in my previous blog, you are hereby cordially invited to read this new blog. The rest of you can stick to watching the photo series about Penny getting a pile of second hand clothes, which of course is infinitely less interesting than my story. But hey, if you are created with the attention span of a shrimp doll, then who am I to tell you that reading can actually contribute to intellectual development, because even when a shrimp doll doubles it’s intellect it is still close to zero.

So if you are a shrimp doll, or wish to be one, please do feel free to just  watch the video series in my blog. As for the rest of you, let me tell you how I got out of Musk’s infernal missile. 

Day 5.

0.06 hrs pm.

A wise doll once said: ”If you have screwed up the office of your boss then you best leave by the window.”  Or was it: If you have screwed the wife of your boss then best you leave by the window.”..? Thinking of it, I am not entirely sure if it was a wise doll who has said this.  Either way, if you wanna to get out, the window is the place to be. Especially when you are in a burning rocket at high speed heading for earth and the door is jammed...

0.13 hrs pm.

Damn! Two broken fingernails and my second best pencil ruined and not even a scratch on that window. The lack of gravity is not very helpful, in fact the opposite. How on earth am I going to put a hole in that window?! Nothing in this office seems to be useful for breaking glass, unless.... my special office chair can be transformed to an ejection seat... YES, that’s it!!  All I need to do is connect my power boots to the chair legs and then set them off with my remote.

Pity, because I was getting rather fond of my power boots. But if I can get this office chair through that window then at least there is a chance I can tell the girls that I had power boots. If I am going to keep them boots now, then at best they can reconstruct from my remains that I have had them. So I think I prefer the first option. Let’s do this!

0.17 hrs pm.

I have taped my power boots to the chair and taped it to the wall exactly opposite to the window, because it floated away. Once the boots have burned loose the tape they should push the chair in a straight line to the window. I pray that the weight and speed of the chair will be enough to break the glass.... Am I going to sit in the chair?...Hmmm.... better not. I risk ruining my haircut, that is if I am not decapitated first, which is even more likely.... Nah, better hide behind my desk and set the boots off by remote.

0.20 hrs pm.

Ok, that went not quite as planned, but the window is gone and I am almost in one piece, which is nothing less than a miracle. The launch went pretty well, but the chair didn't fly straight to the window, instead it first spinned  three times through the office like some kind of all-destructive deflating balloon, demolishing just about everything in its path before hitting the window. However, the havoc it created was completely insignificant compared to the hurricane that followed. If I had not  already taken shelter behind my desk for the launch, then I would not have been able to tell you the rest of this story. This because the moment that the chair smashed itself through the window the shattered glass pushed outside was blown inside again like a nail bomb gone off. It appeared that the air pressure inside the office was still close to zero when the glass broke. If my desk hadn't taken the blows, I would have been beheaded for sure. I did lose one of my little fingers in the blast, but that is not a problem. When... no, if I make it back home I will just cut off a little finger of one of the ScoonimDolls from Koen’s graveyard drawer and then glue it to my hand. With any luck nobody will notice.  

0.22 hrs pm.

Hmm... There is a little flaw in my plan. I thought I could use my power boots to fly out of the window and head for home, but that is not gonna work anymore. Boots are gone. And if I jump out of that window I will almost certainly not survive the fall. I need.... a parachute!

0.23 hrs pm.

For once, I’m in luck! One of the sheets of my bed has survived the glass blast. All I need to do now is make holes in the corners so I can put my feet and hands through them. I need to rush. From what I can see I have less than a few minutes before this burning office from hell will hit the ocean.

0.27 hrs pm.

Wow!! This is amazing! Got off the rocket in one piece and my bed-sheet-parachute works even better than I hoped for. I can even keep making notes for my CoverDoll blog while flying this parachute! Hahaha!! Hello world, rejoice, here is Stellai and she is to live another day!

0.28 hrs pm.

Phhoo! While I myself am gently floating down, I just saw Musk’s deadly missile exploding when it crashed into the water. You're not gonna believe the size of the splash his fireball made. Good thing I got off in time!!

0.43 hrs pm.

Ok, next thing I need to figure out is how to get to shore before this parachute reaches the surface, otherwise I gonna need to swim. Sure I can swim, but salt water is not my favourite and what I am looking at is lots and lots and lots of it. I recall the nearest coast to be pretty much straight ahead, but whereas distances seemed insignificant higher up, it might very well become a bit of a problem to keep my feet dry, because the lower I get, the further away the coast seems to be.

0.59 hrs pm.

No more coast in sight. In Disney stories a seagull should turn up by now to my rescue....

... Hmm... not a single seagull doll in sight. Apparently this is not a Disney story....

... Never thought I would say this, but I think real soon I am going to be in need of a rescue party....

... Gosh, I miss my power boots!.....

....Ehh...Help?

To be continued...

Yeah, it will be continued. I made it alive so far, so I am gonna survive this as well, I think... hmm... I hope.

Surely rescue is on its way....  

Stellai

P.S. If my remark about shrimp dolls showed you the light and you managed to read this entire blog, then you might also may be interested to know how I got into that rocket in the first place. If so, then click here:

• January: "Change of a lifetime"
• March: "An Office with a View"
• May: "Beyond my door"
• July: "Fire Ball"